I feel utterly broken. It's as if the doctor betrayed my trust. We agreed on one procedure, but he performed a completely different one, causing me immense pain and suffering without any warning.

Imagine taking your car to a mechanic for a minor scratch and them replacing the entire door, ripping the upholstery in the process. Would anyone be satisfied with such a result or demand that the mechanic fix all the damage? Unfortunately, in my case, the damage is irreparable.

My pain is worsening. It feels like my nerves are regrowing near the hernia mesh site. I can now experience pain when I pinch the skin around my groin, but I've lost my sense of touch and temperature. The area where the mesh is implanted feels like it's been burned, and any movement feels like a rough scouring pad is inside me. Even my previously healthy left testicle is now excruciatingly painful, as if it's been dipped in scalding coffee. The pain is so intense that I often sit on the floor of the shower, letting the water run over my body for relief. I'll do this throughout the night to try and manage the pain.

I now realize that the mild discomfort I experienced before the surgery seems insignificant compared to the pain I'm enduring now. I had a good life before the operation. What was I thinking?

I'm trapped in a nightmare of pain and regret. The doctor misled me, promising a less invasive procedure without a mention that it might not be possible. This was the biggest mistake of my life. I'll regret choosing Dr. Yang for the rest of my days.

Life feels like a cruel game I don't want to play anymore. I'm so uncomfortable in my own body. I long for a way to change it.

I go to bed early, It seems sleep is the only escape i can get in the dream world. When I wake up, the reality hits me like a ton of bricks I have returned to this nightmare which is the real world. I'm overwhelmed by negative thoughts and emotions about what the doctor did to me. I rush to the bathroom, vomiting uncontrollably in tears. This happens every morning. I'm forced to wait until the nausea subsides before taking my medication. Sometimes, I see blood in my vomit, which is a potential side effect of the pain medication. Should I stop taking it?

I'm numb to everything. Life has lost its flavor. I'm just waiting for something to happen, but I don't know what.

I've lost my appetite. I was 100kg when I went into the hospital, and now I'm barely 94kg. My weight keeps fluctuating, but it doesn't matter.

I'm losing my will to live. Nothing matters anymore. Food, hobbies, relationships... it's all meaningless. I'm just counting down the days until... I don't know what.

I'm so tired of this. I just want it to end.